Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Cancer strikes...
I've not been blogging for almost a year, and it seems as though I always have something going on to where I cant sit down and concentrate for more than five minutes at a time. I never assumed that the recent turn of events would bring me back to blogging, or that I would blog about such a personal journey. I have cancer. Its so weird to say, and I cant wait to say, "I beat cancer". But here I am, at the beginning of my fight. I am undergoing treatment, which will include a total hysterectomy; at 26 years old. My mother and I will go through menopause at the same time, which is insane to me. I wondered how funny a blog could be about menopause of a twenty-something year old, because vaginal dryness is sure to get a snicker out of someone right? Then my friends pointed out that this might help someone going through the same thing I am going through. I was sold. So, here we are. Blogging through menopause! Get your fans out and your hormones ready ya'll, its going to be a bumpy ride!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Missing You Like A Fat Kid Misses Cake!
Oh blogging world, how art thou? I haven't posted in what seems like forever! Alas, I let life take me away from my couch and laptop and into the outside world... You know the one with people and pollen, swimming and t-ball? Yup that is the one!
I'm working on a few things as of right now, which I promise I will abandon the sunshine and fun and curl up on the couch and finish.... SOON! A book review, a clothing review, and a few rants are waiting for me to finish them, so I better get on it!
I'm working on a few things as of right now, which I promise I will abandon the sunshine and fun and curl up on the couch and finish.... SOON! A book review, a clothing review, and a few rants are waiting for me to finish them, so I better get on it!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Blithe Bambinos
New segment for my blog...Kids say the darnedest things, they really do! Here are some things that my babies have said that make my day...
Was changing LB's diaper when Kaden gasped. "Momma sissy's pee pee fell off, we need to find it NOW!" He is currently running around the house yelling "Sissy's pee pee, where are you?!?!
Jalen- "Presley is crying mom do you have your listening ears on?"
Me- "Yes son but she has to wait a minute."
Kaden- "Well hurry up mom she wants to eat your boobs again!"
Bambinos have capes on, (Blankets attached to their shirts) and are running in circles yelling "I'm super I'm super"
Had to get onto the twins for acting downright crazy. So after having to YELL to get their attention Jalen tells me "That's not cool mom don't yell" and Kaden tells me to use my "inside voice". Hmph.
Kaden decided to be nice and share his snack with his fire truck. There is peanut butter all over the truck and he says "momma da fire truck made a mess! Don't make a mess fire truck!" Hmmm bet the fire truck spilled his milk too!
Presley is pooping and the boys are telling her "you is disgusting and gross and YOU STINK" And she is so very amused she is just smiling away.
So, my kids are really sweet, but Kaden needs to stop calling me baby momma. He tells me, "I love you baby momma!"
Watching the boys talk to Presley. "hello my Preswey, my name is Kanan and that's Jalen. I's your broda. Where's my Preswey's toys? I find them. Lets play my princess Preswey" ♥
We were eating dinner and Jalen says, "Mom I love you" out of the blue (melted my heart) so then Kaden starts saying "I love you" to me, his dad, but most importantly all of the food on his plate "I love you noo-noo's, I love you chicken, I love you biscuit"
The kids are ordering food like I am a short order cook. "I want cookies and cheeseburgers and milks and cheese"
My Kaden is a cheater, and Jalen is TOO gullible! We are having races down the hill and Kaden fakes and injury EVERY time so Jalen turns around and asks what's wrong brother? And then Kaden bails and wins the race!
Stay tuned for more witty remarks from 2 year olds!
Was changing LB's diaper when Kaden gasped. "Momma sissy's pee pee fell off, we need to find it NOW!" He is currently running around the house yelling "Sissy's pee pee, where are you?!?!
Jalen- "Presley is crying mom do you have your listening ears on?"
Me- "Yes son but she has to wait a minute."
Kaden- "Well hurry up mom she wants to eat your boobs again!"
Bambinos have capes on, (Blankets attached to their shirts) and are running in circles yelling "I'm super I'm super"
Had to get onto the twins for acting downright crazy. So after having to YELL to get their attention Jalen tells me "That's not cool mom don't yell" and Kaden tells me to use my "inside voice". Hmph.
Kaden decided to be nice and share his snack with his fire truck. There is peanut butter all over the truck and he says "momma da fire truck made a mess! Don't make a mess fire truck!" Hmmm bet the fire truck spilled his milk too!
Presley is pooping and the boys are telling her "you is disgusting and gross and YOU STINK" And she is so very amused she is just smiling away.
So, my kids are really sweet, but Kaden needs to stop calling me baby momma. He tells me, "I love you baby momma!"
Watching the boys talk to Presley. "hello my Preswey, my name is Kanan and that's Jalen. I's your broda. Where's my Preswey's toys? I find them. Lets play my princess Preswey" ♥
We were eating dinner and Jalen says, "Mom I love you" out of the blue (melted my heart) so then Kaden starts saying "I love you" to me, his dad, but most importantly all of the food on his plate "I love you noo-noo's, I love you chicken, I love you biscuit"
The kids are ordering food like I am a short order cook. "I want cookies and cheeseburgers and milks and cheese"
My Kaden is a cheater, and Jalen is TOO gullible! We are having races down the hill and Kaden fakes and injury EVERY time so Jalen turns around and asks what's wrong brother? And then Kaden bails and wins the race!
Stay tuned for more witty remarks from 2 year olds!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Manic Mondays!!!!!!!!!!
What a weekend! Swimming, shenanigans, homework and cleaning took up all my time! Here are the answers to the questions that were submitted by Friday.....
Dear Jess,
How can I spice up my life again in the bedroom for my hubby. He seems uninterested after I've had the 3rd baby.
Love, Desperate for love making...LOL
Dear Desperate for Love Making-
Men are really just overgrown children; tell him what to do and he will do it, especially if he has an award or incentive. ;) Put the kids to bed when he is away, answer the door in a corset and thong,(Checking the peephole first of course,, although answering the door half nude could make your UPS packages come on time from now on) and demand he goes to the bedroom.. Be prepared for a naughty night! Make him think about nothing but you.. Text and picture messages full of sexual innuendo and NUDITY. Men are visual creatures; walk around butt ass naked and that should get his attention. Be aggressive with him- "that Jalepeno pepper is mine and I am taking it amigo!" And if all else fails, no man I know can turn down a B.J!
Love, MWLTF
Dear Jess, Where do words come from?
Once upon a time, there was an alphabet that was 26 whole letters long… Every time the alphabet would take a poop, words were formed! ;)The End!
Love, Jess
Dear Whitty Whiner,
My husband is a complete douche lord and thinks he can do no wrong! How can I knock him down a few pegs and put him back in his place. His head is in serious need of deflation before he POPS! (or gets popped)
Love, The Pin to his Bubble
Dear Pin to his Bubble,
When he is asleep, use that little tube of crazy glue that we all keep in our junk drawer and glue his penis to the inside of his leg. His first morning wood will hurt so bad he might consider being a decent person! When he freaks out just tell him he must have used the crazy glue to jerk off instead of his lube! Visine in his drink will keep him on the toilet, and make him realize how full of shit he is... Although I have heard of people being convicted and going to jail for doing this since it has such a hard toll on the body, so unless you're ready to go to the bing for big-head, I would skip that one! You can start acting like he does and see how he likes it! Or, if all else fails, smack the shit out of him ;)
Love, Whitty Whiner
Dear Jess,
I am going to a wedding next month, the theme colors are pink and light green. I never liked wearing dresses, what color of a dress would you choose and would it be a long dress be appropriate?
Love, Undecided
Dear Undecided,
If you don't like wearing dresses, DON'T! Especially if you know you are going to turn into "that girl" from the wedding who gets tossed and winds up showing her underwear (or lack thereof). There is no rule that says you have to wear a dress! Express has really cute tops and bottoms, and I have always been in love with the female type fitted tuxedo look, but, I digress; if you feel like you want to wear a dress you can. I suggest something comfortable, and your length can range from mid-thigh (especially if the groomsmen are cute and you are single) to just below the knee. Unless the wedding invitation specifies that it is a "formal" affair, I wouldn't wear a floor length dress that makes you look like you were left out of the wedding party and are holding grudges! Wear whatever color you want, except white! The bride might feel like smacking you for trying to steal her color! Have a cocktail for me, and send me a picture with what you wear!
Love, Jess
Dear Jess,
How can I spice up my life again in the bedroom for my hubby. He seems uninterested after I've had the 3rd baby.
Love, Desperate for love making...LOL
Dear Desperate for Love Making-
Men are really just overgrown children; tell him what to do and he will do it, especially if he has an award or incentive. ;) Put the kids to bed when he is away, answer the door in a corset and thong,(Checking the peephole first of course,, although answering the door half nude could make your UPS packages come on time from now on) and demand he goes to the bedroom.. Be prepared for a naughty night! Make him think about nothing but you.. Text and picture messages full of sexual innuendo and NUDITY. Men are visual creatures; walk around butt ass naked and that should get his attention. Be aggressive with him- "that Jalepeno pepper is mine and I am taking it amigo!" And if all else fails, no man I know can turn down a B.J!
Love, MWLTF
Dear Jess, Where do words come from?
Once upon a time, there was an alphabet that was 26 whole letters long… Every time the alphabet would take a poop, words were formed! ;)The End!
Love, Jess
Dear Whitty Whiner,
My husband is a complete douche lord and thinks he can do no wrong! How can I knock him down a few pegs and put him back in his place. His head is in serious need of deflation before he POPS! (or gets popped)
Love, The Pin to his Bubble
Dear Pin to his Bubble,
When he is asleep, use that little tube of crazy glue that we all keep in our junk drawer and glue his penis to the inside of his leg. His first morning wood will hurt so bad he might consider being a decent person! When he freaks out just tell him he must have used the crazy glue to jerk off instead of his lube! Visine in his drink will keep him on the toilet, and make him realize how full of shit he is... Although I have heard of people being convicted and going to jail for doing this since it has such a hard toll on the body, so unless you're ready to go to the bing for big-head, I would skip that one! You can start acting like he does and see how he likes it! Or, if all else fails, smack the shit out of him ;)
Love, Whitty Whiner
Dear Jess,
I am going to a wedding next month, the theme colors are pink and light green. I never liked wearing dresses, what color of a dress would you choose and would it be a long dress be appropriate?
Love, Undecided
Dear Undecided,
If you don't like wearing dresses, DON'T! Especially if you know you are going to turn into "that girl" from the wedding who gets tossed and winds up showing her underwear (or lack thereof). There is no rule that says you have to wear a dress! Express has really cute tops and bottoms, and I have always been in love with the female type fitted tuxedo look, but, I digress; if you feel like you want to wear a dress you can. I suggest something comfortable, and your length can range from mid-thigh (especially if the groomsmen are cute and you are single) to just below the knee. Unless the wedding invitation specifies that it is a "formal" affair, I wouldn't wear a floor length dress that makes you look like you were left out of the wedding party and are holding grudges! Wear whatever color you want, except white! The bride might feel like smacking you for trying to steal her color! Have a cocktail for me, and send me a picture with what you wear!
Love, Jess
Monday, March 15, 2010
I < 3 Udder Covers
As a mom there are certain things that you cant live without, and my number one item right now happens to be my Udder Cover. I have breastfed all of my kids, and feeding in public used to make me especially uncomfortable. I no longer have anything to worry about, as the udder cover has made breastfeeding in public a breeze! The udder cover goes over your head just like an apron would, and has a rigid neckline so that you can maintain eye contact with your baby. They have chic patterns that the most trendy mommas will appreciate. I would have killed for this product when I was breastfeeding the twins! The price for one udder cover is $32.00, and i would gladly pay that amount for the use I get out of this product. HOWEVER, they have an ongoing coupon code that can be entered at checkout , and all you pay is the $9.00 shipping. Amazon also offers the Udder Covers Nursing Cover - Pink
. This will be my baby shower gift for all my breastfeeding mommies from now on, as I cant imagine life without it!!!!!!!!!!!
. This will be my baby shower gift for all my breastfeeding mommies from now on, as I cant imagine life without it!!!!!!!!!!!
P90X is giving me anxiety!
Its 2:32 in the morning, so technically its the day that I start hell week. Technically, its hell days, 90 to be exact. I am starting the p90x program and I am so anxious its not even funny. I'm not even going to sugar coat it, Im about one Snicker bar away from emulating Kirstie Alley after she falls off the wagon errrr ice cream truck, but that's neither here nor there. The reality is that my fat ass has to get up everyday at 6 am and work off all three babies, whoppers, and all the crap I shove down my piehole and I am not happy about it. I'm not happy about my size and I have to do something about it. Gotta make sure I do not turn into the fat chick who USED to be cute, if only she would lose some weight. I'm going to blog my weight and inch loss, along with whine about how much pain I am in... If you don't feel like hearing about how bad my butt cheeks hurt, you may want to ignore my blog for the next 90 days... I have to keep track of progress because I don't want to be that kid who starts something and doesn't finish it, and is full of excuses... Every time I think about eating something that I am not supposed to I'll remember that I have to explain my insane cravings to an audience (that's you) and maybe it will make me stop! Or maybe not.. Either way I'm ready to get this crap started before I have to start shopping for a swimsuit! With this program I want to lose 20 pounds. I want to lose my muffin top, and I want my husband to not be able to keep his hands off me! So here we go people, bring on the soreness and make me look good naked!!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Beef Dips
This recipe was amazingly easy and delish!
Ingredients:
4 Pounds Chuck Roast
3 Bay Leaves
1 TBSP Dried Rosemary
1 TBSP Minced Garlic
1 Cup Soy Sauce
2 Beef Bouillon Cubes
6 Cups water
Fresh Hoagie Rolls
Sliced Provolone Cheese
Butter
Instructions:
Add beef, bay leaves, rosemary, garlic, soy sauce, bouillon cubes, and water to crock pot. Cook on high for 6 hours or low for 10. I sliced the hoagie rolls, spread butter and a bit of minced garlic and broiled until golden brown. Added meat and cheese after the bread was cooked. Serve with a side of Au Jus from the crock pot and this is one easy meal! Enjoy!
Ingredients:
4 Pounds Chuck Roast
3 Bay Leaves
1 TBSP Dried Rosemary
1 TBSP Minced Garlic
1 Cup Soy Sauce
2 Beef Bouillon Cubes
6 Cups water
Fresh Hoagie Rolls
Sliced Provolone Cheese
Butter
Instructions:
Add beef, bay leaves, rosemary, garlic, soy sauce, bouillon cubes, and water to crock pot. Cook on high for 6 hours or low for 10. I sliced the hoagie rolls, spread butter and a bit of minced garlic and broiled until golden brown. Added meat and cheese after the bread was cooked. Serve with a side of Au Jus from the crock pot and this is one easy meal! Enjoy!
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