My Story.. The Short Version

After HS, I joined the Army. Now this may shock many of you because I was little miss priss, but the Army suited my needs at the time and is the reason that I am in the place that I am in my life right now- and it is a place that I wouldn't trade the world for. I joined the Army as a medic ( I have always had a thing for the medical field) and started my training in South Carolina. In the summer... For all you people that have never experienced a summer in the South, let me just tell you that it SUCKED!! I fucked up my legs and had the opportunity to quit and come back home but I didn't. I needed to be there. To experience different things and change the direction of my life. After basic I went to Fort Sam in TX. I arrived at 2am on my 20th birthday. Now, your training sucks for the most part, but its the weekends that keep you going. I met my best friend my first day in Texas, and we have been attached at the hip since then. Every weekend we have off-post privildges, and we would go get a hotel room and do the things that were forbidden (drink and smoke and party our asses off.. what were you thinking?) I had a blast in Texas, but it is amazing how fast time flys. Before I knew it, I was graduating and was off to NC... with my best friend. For those of you who have little to no knowledge of the Army, the fact that her and I were in the same battalion from basic to AIT to our first assignment was amazing... You meet and lose great people all the time in the Army....

When I arrived in NC I had no idea that I would wind up living my life here. Since I was always breaking something, and dealing with a ton of female problems, I wound up on funeral detail, something that I am really honored to have been a part of. Spouses, parents, friends and family will forever remember our ceremonial salutes, rifles, the presenting of the flag in the memory of someone they love, and the soul snatching sound of stripes floating through a graveyard. It was truly an honor. This is where I began to get to know my husband. (He used to hang around my company in TX, but I thought he was a jerk) Anyway, love blossomed and it was no time before we were planning our lives together. After having a hard time trying to get pregnant, we finally learned that we were in fact going to be parents.. of twins.... This was a very stressful time in my life, Naquan was getting ready to deploy for 15 months and here I was, knocked up with no support in NC. But, by the grace of god I was able to have him by my side during the entire pregnancy. He wound up medically retiring 2 days after I had the boys, Jalen and Kaden. 10 days after they were born, we closed on our first house and moved in.

Sometimes in life, you have to let go of certain dreams in order to be able to embrace bigger ones, and so, in August I left my role as an active duty soldier and was excited to take on my role as a full time mommy. But this did not last very long. In July, my husband started to get sick, he just wasnt himself. The first week of August, the very same week I was set to get out, Naquan went into the ER. They dismissed him and acted like he would be okay, but he wouldnt be, and I knew it deep down. If any of you remember what I am like when I am mad, multiply that by two and apply it to the toungue lashing I gave that doctor. The next day, Naquan collapsed. I spent and hour trying to pull him out of the shower. My husband is like 245 of pure muscle and was dead weight and wet. I felt my world falling around me. Realizing that there was no way I could physically get him to to hospital, I called the ambulance and they whisked him away. He was admitted, but they couldnt figure out what was wrong with him. For one week, I sat a watched my mentally and physically strong husband melt away on a hospital bed. He told me he wasnt going to make it, what to do and to make sure that I found someone to make me happy again. He told me to pay off the house and to take care of the kids, he told me over and over he was going to die, and I believed him. After going into cardiac and resp failure, Naquan was taken to DUKE ICU. Within 24 hours of being there, duke had diagnosed with Guillean Barre Syndromeand began treatment on my husband. I was so scared. Here I was fresh out of the Army, no job, now without my husbands income, alone. This was the darkest place I have ever been in my life, and I pray I am never immersed in that much angst or heartache or uncertainty again.

I pulled myself together, I had to. I got a great job as a nurse at a specialty clinic and visited my husband at the hospital on a daily basis. I took care of my kids and my husband and ran my household. I proved to myself and others what a strong person I am. I didnt feel strong. I was a zombie, working and driving 2 hours to see him, and then two hours home, getting up in the night with my boys. I am surprised I am here and halfway sane today. After months of being in the hospital and a live in rehab center my husband came home. He is still recovering, but has recovered enough to get out of his wheelchair and work full time. I am still so amazed and proud of all the hard work he has done to recover. He has proved his strength and determination to live and provide a life for our family.

I am now a stay at home mom, finishing my degree and living life to the fullest. I am in love with my life, my family, my husband and the possibilities that are sure to come my way. I am a strong woman, stronger than I ever thought possible. I am living everyday to the fullest, and expect nothing less in my life.

"I just want to be wonderful...."